Freaks
by okiemonkie
Summary: What if the real 'Twilight' was not what the author wrote? What if things were really really different. This is what it would be like. Read it for the children with cancer! AU
1. Chapter 1

_**Freaks**_

_**This is a story my sibling and I came up with. He was feeling down about loosing his hair from chemo so I thought we should bond by doing what ever he wants. Please note this is not a serious fic. But it would be nice if you would give it a chance. AU**_

It all started when Bella was born. She was ugly as a baby, but then she grew even uglier. Her parents put her up for adoption because all of their friends made fun of them. Bella was at the orphanage for 13 years.

While at the orphanage Bella was bullied for her horrible looks. All the other girls were pretty and weren't bow legged, which was the opposite of Bella.

Today was a special day for poor Bella. It was free adoption at the Florida Orphanage. An African American male with a 2ft. Afro, walked up to Bella's window. Bella was watching from outside the window and saw the man talking to the manager. Finally! Bella was getting adopted!

"I was just lookin for a ugly poor soul to make me look better." Charlie said. Charlie had a huge afro and a great mustache!

"Okay sir," the manager said "We've got just what you need! There's an ugly 16years old we have, look in this room"

Charlie didn't need time to choose "I'll take her! She's ugly!"

After properly adopting Bella, Charlie told her the were going to Washington. They drove all the way to Washington, but not before Bella almost got hit by a car and had beer cans thrown at her head. Man, Bella's life is gonna suck!

_**End of chapter**_

_**Please review if you like. Not writing more if no one likes it. This chapter is just a tester. Chapters will be longer. Edward and Jacob will be in the next chapter. It will be funny. Thank you.**_


	2. Because You're Ugly!

_**Freaks**_

_**Chapter 2**_

_**A/N Thank you for all of the nice reviews. Just a heads up, we here at Freaks make fun of all characters. If you don't like people making fun of your favorite character don't read beyond this point, Thank You. BEWARE MINOR CUSS WORDS.**_

At 2 A.M Charlie and Bella arrived at their new home in WA.

"Bella since you are ugly, you get the privilege of carrying all of our bags inside." Charlie said, while walking to the house.

"But Charlie! That gonna take like 50 trips." Bella whined.

"Hey, you carry those bags in right now mister!"

"But I'm a girl." Bella said feeling all her pride blow up in her face.

"Do it before I bust a cap in you ass." Charlie yelled, while pulling out his black guy pistol.

"Mmkay, mmkay!" Bella said running to the trunk to get all of Charlie's 20 bags.

On her way to the car Bella tripped over a gust of wind and fell flat on her face. Charlie ran up to Bella and helped her up. When he made sure she wasn't gonna fall he laughed directly in her face.

"Damn you fell hard, Bitch." Charlie chortled. When Charlie's happiness was reduced to chuckling he cleared his throat and said: "Oh.. Um .. Do you need a napkin or something?"

"No Charlie I'm fine. You know I just busted my face but I'm okay." Bella said, annoyed at Charlie.

"Hey don't give me any lip mister." Charlie said.

Then Bella and Charlie heard a noisy pink van pull up their driveway. They saw what looked like an eagle and a flamboyant guy. Then they got out of the van and greeted Charlie.

"Kaw kaw! What the hell is that? Kaw kaw!" The eagle man said.

"Oh hi Billy. That? That's just a Bella." Charlie said, as if Bella was insignificant. Which she was.

"Kaw kaw! How did you acquire that being? Kaw kaw!"

"See what had happened was, people have been telling me I'm ugly. I got a Bella because I wanted to look better by comparison. And it's working!"

"Kaw kaw! What a good idea! Kaw kaw! This is my _different _son, Jacob." Billy said, pointing to is son.

"Hey!" Jacob said, while texting on his pink phone.

"Kaw kaw! Damn it Jacob, put that damn phone down! Kaw kaw!" Billy yelled.

"Fine!"

"Kaw kaw! Show some damn respect! Kaw kaw! This is Charlie's ugly ass adopted daughter, Bella. Kaw kaw!" Billy yelled, while ruffling his feathers.

"Hey! I'm-" Bella began, but she was cut off by Jacob.

"Hey! Nice to meet you. I'll be waiting in the van." Jacob said quickly.

Bella followed him to the van. She looked in, and saw that the drivers seat was a birds nest. _What the?_ Bella thought.

"Hey, Jacob, do you not like me?" Bella asked, sadly.

"Hell to the no, Bitch you ugly!" Jacob yelled.

Bella put her head down, and sniffled.

_Well that's not the first time I made an ugly person cry. _Jacob thought. Jacob walked up to Bella and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey." he said softly. "Hey." he said again.

Bella looked up with ugly tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. Its not your fault you look like a baked shat." He said softly.

"Do you want to be friends?" Bella asked, wiping her tears off of her face.

_AWW SHIT!_ Jacob thought. "Sure." Jacob said unwillingly.

"Yay, yay, yay! My first ever friend! Can I have a hug?" Bella asked excitedly.

"Oh..uh… How 'bout a finger high five?"

"Ok!"

As soon as they touched their index fingers together, Jacob pulled away.

"Bella, Get your ugly self over here and carry these bags in!" Charlie yelled.

"Ok!" Bella yelled back. "Bye Jake!" with that Bella ran over to Charlie's bags, and began to take them in.

After Bella was gone, Jacob got back into the van, and squirted lots of hand sanitizer on his hands.

_**End of Chapter**_

_**Again we here at Freaks want to thank you for all the nice reviews. We here at Freaks want to address that we said there will be Edward in this chapter and there is not. He will be in next chapter, and he will be huge. *hint hint* Keep up the nice reviews!**_

_**Next chapter soon, Thank you!**_


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